Writers Regurgitant

Dave’s one-line movie reviews XII

In my last post, I wrote that I had seen so many great movies that I didn’t know where to start.  No similar problems today.

“Interstellar” – Astronauts uncover a monolith buried on the moon by aliens, and when the first sunlight strikes it, it sends a powerful radio beam to Jupiter.  A mission to Jupiter discovers a wormhole there, and the one remaining astronaut goes through the wormhole to a different dimension where aliens and funny colors mesmerize the audience.  Oh sorry, I was describing “2001: A Space Odyssey.”  What’s the difference?  In 2001, the computer becomes neurotic and tries to kill the crew.  In Interstellar, an actor who emotes like a computer does the same.

“Jersey Boys” – How can a collaboration between Clint Eastwood and Christopher Walken be anything but good?  Not a fan of Broadway musicals, I had no real desire to see this movie, but when the Mrs. and I couldn’t agree on a zombie movie, it was either this or a Julia Roberts chick flick.  Jersey Boys was a really fun movie.  Clint – I’m sorry I doubted you.

“Oblivion” – Another post-apocalypse movie that answers the universal question, will Morgan Freeman wear a cape in the future?  Good special effects, if that’s what you’re looking for.

“RIPD” – I’m not positive, but I think this was an attempt at a sequel to the Coen brothers version of “True Grit” but the filmmakers didn’t want to pay royalties for character rights.  The basic story line is that when a cop gets murdered, he has to join the police force in the “next world” where they fight the undead.  Lots of action, and Jeff Bridges always gives a performance worth watching.

“The Family” – I’ve got to admit, as long as Ben Stiller isn’t in the cast, Robert DeNiro can make even the silliest movies worth watching.  There’s nothing amazingly original here: you’ve got the gangster in the witness protection program, the wise-ass kids, the tough as nails mom who will do anything to protect her kids and Tommy Lee Jones playing the benevolent but devoted cop.  Throw in some gun fights, a few explosions and you’ve got a movie.

“Cold Light of Day” – Stock broker turned secret agent defeats the CIA and a bunch of bad guys after some incessant chase scenes, gunfights and intrigue.  I’m sorry, but if a movie starts out on a beach in France, I expect topless sun-worshipers, not Bruce Willis.

“Lord of War” –  Nicolas Cage is a Ukrainian immigrant who becomes an arms dealer, marries a super model, evades capture by the FBI and sells weapons to African war-lords.  Now, that’s a cool job title, “war-lord.”  Where do you go to college for that?  Cage keeps talking to the camera to try to give the film a “cinéma vérité” look,  but I know a movie that’s just an excuse to blow things up when I see it.  Lord of War is definitely worth a viewing, but don’t expect a lot of deep introspection on the human condition.

“All is Lost” – Robert Redford lost at sea as his sailboat falls apart over the two hour length of the movie.  I actually loved the film, but a lot of viewers may be turned off by the lack of dialogue.  You could compare this to Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” only Redford doesn’t have a volleyball to talk to.   Too bad they couldn’t fit the  Sundance Kid’s line “I can’t swim” into this movie, it would have been a nice homage to a great actor’s career.