Dave’s one-line movie reviews VIII

February 9, 2014 at 4:50 pm | Posted in Daily blogs and thoughts | Leave a comment
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The bad weather we’ve been having in the northeast has forced me to stay indoors and watch lots of old movies.  So thanks to my distaste for driving in snow, I bring you the latest collection of one-line movie reviews.

“Billy Joel: A Matter of Trust —   The Bridge to Russia.”  Wow!  I’ve already used up half my review space just typing that long title.  OK, first of all: not a concert movie.  If it’s Billy Joel performances you’re looking for, try YouTube.  Actually, it’s a pretty straight forward documentary about putting together a large commercial rock concert and bringing it on the road to a place where, at the time, large commercial rock concerts weren’t available. A very enjoyable film, even if you have to sit through Christie Brinkley’s pontifications on International relations.  She must be smart, she’s a model, right?

“Bad Santa.”  Strange movie to air during February, but this is the Christmas classic for the Charles Manson family.  Bad Santa brought to 2003 what Animal House brought to 1978.  The word is that they are in development of a Bad Santa 2, the only hold up is they haven’t got the script down right.  Or maybe they’re trying to get it wrong.  I can’t imagine.

The Thomas Crown Affair,” with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo, answers the burning question, “What would James Bond be like if he was a bad guy?”   Not a burning question for you?  Me neither.  Anyhow, it’s a fun 2 hours of entertainment, especially when the only real option is going outside to shovel snow out of the driveway.

“Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”  For you youngsters, there’s nothing wrong with your television, this movie was filmed in black & white.  It’s artistic.  A sequel to Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew,” Virgina Woolf follows the break-up and break-down of Petruchio and Katherine, 25 years and thousands of bottles of booze later.   This is a tough movie to watch, you’ll probably walk away numb; but you’re supposed to.  Personally, I loved this one, even though it gave me strong cravings for red bull and vodka.

“After Earth.”   If a title like that doesn’t elicit a bunch of snide comments…  How about: After Earth I’ll stop watching Will Smith movies?  I think this might be Men in Black 4, only MIB has failed, the earth has been destroyed, and there are no scriptwriters left to pen movies.  We’ll just let the CG people do it.

“Journey 2: The Mysterious Island.”   I’m not sure if the number “2” is supposed to be shorthand for the word “to” or if this is a sequel to one of the half dozen adaptations of Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island.  The plot is simple:  Michael Caine, exuding way too much personality, takes his grandson, a hot chick and her father and The Rock to an island sinking into the ocean that features a volcano belching gold.  They ride giant bees to find Jules Verne’s fictional submarine, jump start it with an electric eel and live happily ever after. Good for kids or anyone else who doesn’t want to think too much about what they’re watching.

Goodfellas.”  As a Martin Scorsese fan, I’d have to say this is my favorite of all his films.  Every actor who has ever played an Italian gangster in the movies or on TV is in this movie.  The violence and language is classic Scorsese, and Joe Pesci is really funny.

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